That Guy (Part 5)

So...

An Open Letter to "That Guy"


Dear That Guy;

I have dealt with many of the best people in the world in my life. I have been rewarded with remarkable friendships and people who enrich my life on a daily basis. My circle of friends is amazing, and I am fortunate to have them.

You are not my friend. We are not friends. We are acquaintances. We know each other, but we don't "know" each other. And I'm fine with that. You happen to be the most irritating person in the world, and that's just something that I do not need more in my life. If I were an oyster, my life would be filled with pearls. That might make the ladies happy, but it doesn't make me happy.

Knock off the BS at the office. Cut the shit, and stop trying to be buddy-buddy. I know that I want to stab you in the eye with a fountain pen, so stop giving me the opportunity by coming by. I want to yell at you to get off your lazy ass and contribute to the growth of this company. So stop sending me emails that give me the opportunity to hit "Reply: Add CC: Company List" and send out a request as to how the hell you are wasting my time, the company's time, and the world's bandwith with this shit. And finally, do your best to run things by me when you happen to think that making some dramatic change in the department. The next time you don't, it will not end the way you hope. I'll have you out the door on your ass.

Cock Bag


Sincerely,

The Stormin Mormon

The Stormin Mormon