Thursday, August 30, 2007

Fun Stuff

Being someone who's job deals with marketing all day, I can not help but love how good these commercials are. Simply brilliant.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Free Stuff From Work

So of course we all have scored some free stuff from work.

Here's mine for the week.

VIP Passes, and VIP Parking for The Dave Matthews Band's concert this weekend at The Gorge in George...

Yes, the name of the town is George.

George, Washington...

Monday, August 27, 2007

Driving With An Open Container

NO, not that kind of driving.

The second round of our beer enthusiast golf club was played Saturday! Here are the photos from the round. TimmyTim, Adams (like "Adams Golf"), and Brian came out to play, I snapped the photos (and played to), and we have no clue who won. We stop keeping score after about half of the round.

(Please not the obscene amount of digital noise in the pictures. Infinite respect to the person that knows what caused it, and why it was INTENTIONAL in the beginning. It's just that you don't realize how bad it is when taking the pictures. But I do feel bad about it.)




High Class Parking. Directly into the cart in front of us...

Away We Go:

Two Holes In. We haven't even had that many... Note the position of Brian's ball, directly in front of him, AFTER he has swung.

TimmyTim about to just crush the ball. This shot ended up right on the green:

Almost losing the cart coming into the fifth tee:

This is the pack of douchebags that played behind us:
We were having a good time, but keeping up with the group in front of us. We would arrive at the tee, and they had yet to leave. So of course, the group behind us is right on our asses. Slow in front of us means we're slow too. These fuckers made the day... Right on our rears, and bitching to the course marshal the entire day about us breaking rules. We were doing nothing of the sort, just having fun. Unfortunately everyone of these fuckers acted as if they were Tiger Fucking Woods, and took the game just as serious.

Funny. looks to me like I'm the one playing with Tiger Woods' clubs, and even his balls. (Wait, that really sounds wrong, his GOLF BALLS!!!!!):

After nine holes, we were all in need of some refreshments:
(Note: Not exactly Haute Cuisine, but anyone who has spent some time in college will attest that for less than a buck a piece, nothing pairs better with a Polish Sausage than a PBR.)

Some in the group "couldn't do Pabst." Of course note his fancy capri pants... No wonder.

Here we are waiting:

For the group in front of us. Tiger and the gang right on our asses:
But hey, look how good we are with our balls (no, those balls were not placed there, that was the shot grouping. Brian's ball is nowhere to be found...):

Of course, homage must be paid to the people who work at the course to drive you out $6 beers:

By the next hole we were getting quite belligerent. Not from alcohol, but the assholes behind us. So we all worked on showing them our opinion (note, TimmyTim did in fact miss the fucking ball):

But Brian was there to show him how it was done:

By the next hole I think that TimmyTim had quite enough:

Further displayed by the splendid dismount from the golf cart, parked by locking up the brakes and sliding it sideways:

So much fun that Brian needed a smoke:

TimmyTim just wanted to make it faster:

But even after all that, we were still hitting the ball well. Here's Adams for the win on 14:

OK, maybe not that well. I think this one was in someone's pool:

So of course, more fun was to be had in the carts. TimmyTim here at full opposite lock, and full throttle (after futzing with the speed governor). Quite insane, but he did slide just inside of the tree:

But alas, the day was almost through:

And right after this it started to pour down rain. The rest of the round was nothing but us doing our best to piss off the douchebags who were behind us. They managed to keep right on our asses. Perhaps because we took just over two hours to play the last four holes of the course. Of course, them being dicks to us the whole day had nothing to do with it. I am sure that we felt bad that they spent two hours in the rain, the cold Seattle rain...

At the end of the day, we had a blast. Round three is in the works, and there will be many (and better) photos.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Labor Day

So we are a week away from Labor Day.

This means that today is the first day, of the last week of summer. I can't believe it has gone by so fast.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Longest Week

Sometimes the weeks fly by, but this one has been the slowest collection of days. Each one just dragging on until the next finally shows up.

I have also been busy with Labor Day prep around the office. A beer man's job is never done...

That and the oncoming opening day of the NFL season.

Once September is here I think have a whole lot more in the world of time. Looking at my calendar, shit just slows down...

Big numbers to focus on:

400 - The number of cases of beer of a particular brand left to go, that sets a record for most in a month ever. We have been working our asses off combining advertising, retail programs, staff training (bar and restaurant staff know shit about beer, it would seem), and a slew of shady deals that I question the legality of because it looks to me like they are outright bribes to make this whole thing work. (Not that I have a problem with bribery, I could give a damn... I'm going to be a great politician some day.) If you own a TV and watch it, you have seen our commercials this month...

5 - The "real time" number of days left in August to accomplish this goal. (Monday the 27th, and weekends don't count because some of the right people aren't at work and so no progress on that number can be made.

250 - The almost non-existent bonus I get for setting this record. Obviously the company behind this brand is not swimming in cash like the one sending me to VEGAS. But hey, winning's winning. One of the guys that works for me saw that number and just started laughing. He said that he'd, "never seen me do so much work for so little." I explained to him, it's not the money that drives me. It's victory. :-)

And finally

7 - The number of days that I have gone without seeing Miss Very Nice (can't find the post on her to hyperlink to). She's got work, I've got work. And while she isn't addicted to her job like I am, she works a different schedule than my own, and it's making things tough. How the hell anyone in my company has a "normal relationship" I will never know, because I don't have the time. That said I have a very big charity event this weekend, and I need a date to it. Hopefully she can make it, because it would SUCK to be the only guy there flying solo. Everyone else that I can think of that is attending is married.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Getting Around To It

So today I have a lot of little things that I really need to work on, but I am having the hardest time getting around to them. It's a little work stuff that I need to prioritize and get done, but there is nothing that I can call the most important task, and so it all just goes on the heap.

I have three people that I need to go see. All of them are on The Island. The trick is that I can't leave for The Island until noon. So this goes to the bottom of the list...

I have two people that I need to go see in West Seattle. But right now traffic going into the city is horrible, and I have no desire to deal with that. I can leave to go see them about an hour before I go to The Island, missing anything resembling traffic. I even have to take the ferry from West Seattle, so that works out all to well.

So for now I sit here and procrastinate, wondering why I bothered to come into work so early when there is nothing that I can do until later in the day?

In other news, I bought the coolest sandals EVER yesterday. Reef Drams:
While plain in appearance, they have a secret. Hidden inside the sole of the shoe is a flask.
And a lot of uses run through my mind...
Movies become so much better when the 64oz soda they hand you becomes a Rum and Coke.
The DMV, Parent/Teacher Conferences, Church, you name it... Anywhere that you needed booze before, but they wouldn't sell it to you, is now fair game. :-)

They're definitely on my gift list for family members this year.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The DMV ("Satan's Asshole")

So Monday mornings, the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) in Washington is closed.

No, that isn't a mistake in the name of the city on my part, all DMV offices in the state of Washington are closed on Mondays. I think that this means that they are open on Saturday, but the last thing in the world that I want to do, is ruin my Saturday by going to the DMV. That would be like scheduling a colonoscopy on your birthday...

But the most convenient day of the week for me to go to the DMV is Monday. The rest of the week is a collection of meetings, a day on The Island, and then Friday. There is free time on Friday, but that time is usually taken up before Friday even begins. Usually by something that comes up during the week that I have to push back, because the rest of the days are so busy.

So this leaves me in quite a bind, but doing some research, there are several "SubAgents" of the DMV that are open Mondays. Essentially the same as normal DMV offices, these places are not owned or operated by the Washington DMV. They are contractors that provide fewer services than a normal office (no applying for a License or taking a driving test), but they have different hours and make the services a bit more accessible. And not only are they open on the one day that I have time to go see them, but one of the offices happens to be right across the street from somewhere that I had to go on Monday anyways! Success. (Or so I thought)

Apparently, in being one of the very few offices that is open on Mondays, this DMV office manages to be remarkably busy. I walk in to find a line that is only 20 people or so long. And there is no option to take a number and wait until it is your turn. The line is THE LINE and if you need something done you will wait in that line.

I needed to renew my registration. This is normally a simple task that can be done online and mailed to you. Unfortunately my address changed and they need you to come in to do it when you move. Shit...

And this line is NOT moving. 20 minutes go by (in what feels like eleven hours) and the tree people working are still seeing the same three customers. The people in front of me all look pissed, so I assume that they had been in this line for quite some time. Interestingly enough, NOBODY has joined the line in the last twenty minutes. I am still the SOB standing at the very back of the line. So I wait.

Another 20 minutes of fun, and there are three new people at the windows, the line is now 17 people long. Forty minutes and a total of six transactions has occurred. I am just bored out of my mind. I wish that I had brought my PSP with me, because I would have seriously been playing video games in the line.

Twenty minutes go by yet again, and five more people have been helped. An hour in line, and we're down to twelve. At this point I am hoping that some people are going to give up and leave in order to speed this up. I have some time to take care of things on Monday. I don't have all of the day...

Then something amazing happens. One of the ladies at a window asks the line to split into two. One line for the window on the right. This line is for renewals and new registrations. One line for the two windows on the left. This line is for people needing to transfer a title. Quoting her; "This is the one thing that is taking a lot of time. People, if you have a title to transfer, I hate to separate you from the group but you're making people wait a very long time when their business here takes so much less time."

The line splits. The windows on the left have 9 people standing in front of them. The window on the right has 3. I am in the line on the right. THANK GOD!!!

The two people in front of me take less than two minutes a piece. When I get to the window, I immediately thank the lady for realizing that some of us had been waiting for so long to complete something so simple. She informs me that normally the paperwork for transferring a title takes about a half hour, and that Mondays are the worst day for it. Normally the lines are nothing but people doing this, but she just wanted to make sure that nobody was waiting for something simple. I asked why Monday, and the answer made me feel like an idiot. Most people buy cars on the weekend, and Monday morning they have to go in and fill out the paperwork that they couldn't do Saturday or Sunday. And with most of the offices being closed on Monday, the ones that are open have Monday as their busiest day of the week.

Something nice to know for the future.

So after a little over an hour, I am done with a transaction that took all of ninety seconds.

God I hate the DMV.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I'm A Fucking Winner

That's right people. I am a winner. Friday it was made official, The Stormin Mormon does the most business of a particular beer brand in the world. And as such, I win...

I win BIG.

So they pull back the curtain, and what do I get?

A week in Vegas, on their dime, and I'm staying at The Wynn (that hyperlink takes a second, because their site is huge). In something called a "Parlor Suite." And even the gambling money is paid for.

In doing some research, The Wynn is somehow one of the most expensive places on earth.
-The room is setting them back $900. And that isn't for the entire trip. That's per night.
-The dinner is going to average $200 a night at their restaurants (before booze).
-And then there is the golf. The golf is $500 a round...

And it's not like I picked the place out. They did.

So I am going to have an amazing time, play a bunch of golf on their course, and eat like a king because the food is supposed to be phenomenal.

The king of beers... (And by the way, it's not Budweiser. Fuck Budweiser...)

Friday, August 10, 2007

An Easy Friday

So after a week of never getting done with work before 6PM (and starting the day early), I'm taking it easy this Friday. I know that probably doesn't come as a shock, but I keep thinking that I want to go and do something productive at the office.

Then that feeling fades.

So as I look forward to the weekend, I can help but think about all of the stuff that I really need to do in some order this weekend. It's a remarkably short list.

-Go to the GYM. (Been doing this quite a bit recently)

-Mop the floors in my house. (I'm not even putting this one off, I just haven't gotten around to it with the recent work demands)

-Wash my car. (Uniquely enough, this is the one thing that will take more time than anything else on the above list)

And that's it. My entire "weekend chore list" consists of three items that, with dedication, could be accomplished in 7 hours. I could do them right now, and still be done before 6PM. But that wouldn't be calling it an easy Friday.

In other news, the Colts lost a preseason game to the Dallas Cowboys yesterday. Who cares, it's preseason, it doesn't count...

Monday, August 6, 2007

The Weekend Recap

So this weekend was far to little rest, but enough fun to make being tired on a Monday worth it.

Saturday was a couple of hours at the gym to start the day. Yenny called me up and met me there, with both of us glad to have the motivation to go and work out. I have been setting personal bests for time/distance when running, but neglecting my weight lifting a ton. So I spent the morning just hammering my muscles. The neglect was apparent, and I think that every single muscle group that I worked was 20% weaker than the last time I actually paid attention when lifting. My legs were doing fine, but with all of the running it isn't a shock.
So of course, after the gym the only real option is to go have a ridiculous breakfast with Yenny and her fiance. We headed over to the restaurant and proceeded to undo any positive work that the gym had done. The food was delicious, and we just sat there resting for a couple of hours. After that the rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing at home, and enjoying the day.

Sunday was an early morning and a late night. At 5AM, the F1 Grand Prix of Hungary was on. After a very interesting race Lewis Hamilton kicked ass yet again, and his lead (and Mercedes Benz's lead) on the championship standings has grown even more. After the race I actually had to get out of bed, and run some errands. I went clothes shopping.
On the advice of many people, I did not buy nothing but black pants. I bought two pairs of black Zegna flat front pants, and one pair in gray. I'm a rebel.
I also picked up a few new shirts to go with the new pants. One in Bordeaux (a really red purple, for those who drink wine, the colors name is a perfect description), one in Grey (no, not to go with the grey pants), and one in Prussian Blue. The one thing that I spaced on, not a single tie whatsoever. So I have a bunch of new shirts that I don't really have ties to go with. Oh well, maybe it's just an excuse to go back.
After shopping I headed up to my buddy Monty's house on Lake Washington for SeaFair. SeaFair is a huge deal for people here in the Seattle area, and every year it's a damn circus. But at the same time, it's a lot of fun.
We spent the afternoon drinking, and screwing around. Then we got the great idea to swim across Lake Washington. For those of you who don't live here, that is not a short swim. It's a really long swim. Like a mile...
So, obviously we made it, because I'm still alive, but I am sunburnt all to hell. My entire body just hurts. We made it back to the house, ate some tacos, and called it a night.

Monday I was just dragging. I think that the sun had worn me down the day before, and then the whole "wearing clothing" at work was wickedly uncomfortable. Now I'm at home and trying to wind down and get some sleep.

Thursday, August 2, 2007


So with the start of August the beer world begins to focus on the second most important season in the year.

Summer is by far the first. It is nothing but grueling work.

Which explains the erratic posting. The temperamental attitude. The outright senility. It is just a mad rush of beer with no redeeming factors for the people involved other than increased revenue. And sure (blah blah blah) money is a big deal.

The second most important season: Football Season.

It's by far the most important season of the year for everyone involved. It may not be about the money, or the volume. But involvement is the key factor.

The Seattle area loves it's football. People live for the game here. A win on Sundays and people in this area are literally feel better all week. A loss has everyone in a bad mood and nobody wants to do anything until the next victory.

It's live or die, every week, and a lot of people have a beer or two to go with whatever mood they're in.

Training camp started this week. The pre-season starts SUNDAY.

Indy plays on the 9th. Seattle kicks off on the 12th.

It has been far to long.