While watching the news this morning, I'm listening to their "Superbowl Party Planning" B.S. and they have on this doctor that is offering up health tips for the party...
Don't drink to much, because that can cause blah, blah, blah... Cancer.
(You all better be enjoying some ice cold beers today!!!! We've been busting our asses to make sure that people have a beer or eleven with the Superbowl and I don't give a damn what some doctor says. The last time I checked, to much beer causes a lot of dizziness and eventually vomiting. Let's not get that far... But we can all get pretty damn buzzed!)
Don't offer your guests to may rich foods... Blah, blah, blah, all your guests will get cancer.
(He's right. If they fill up on rich foods, they'll have less room for beer!)
Serve chicken instead of pork or red meats... Red meat causes cancer.
(FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU Doc. Back away from my steak! The greatest thing in the world to enjoy with an ice cold beer is a medium rare steak (if I can't find any Cabernet). If it was already sex, fillet mignon would be my favorite thing in the world. Well, maybe behind beer and sex.)
So in short, the Superbowl itself causes cancer. That's what I've figured out. Party your ass off, but for the love of God, only watch the game if you're certain that you want cancer... I've been watching the past Superbowls for a week, so I'm already doomed.
Today I will watch Superbowl XLI, eat a handful of broccoli to kill off the cancer that I must have due to my life of excessive Superbowl watching, and then go to a party for yet another Superbowl.
Enjoy the day everyone.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
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11 comments:
Bad news: I think broccoli also causes cancer. You're not safe anywhere!
(I actually don't know if broccoli does, but it seems like it must, since everything else does, right?)
I figure we're all going to get cancer. I'll be drinking beer, eating red meat and enjoying life.
Happy Superbowl, Stormin. Thanks for busting you ass to make the beer happen.
Everything causes cancer, so I don't worry a whole lot about it and just enjoy life. We could all get hit by the proverbial bus tomorrow.
I'm still hoping that Guinness and Scotch Whisky will be found to be the miracle cure for everything.
LOL, step out on the street and ya may get hit by a bus too!! Hell, why worry..enjoy the Suprebowl and eat what you want :)
I think watching the Superbowl also increases your risk of a heart attack...(I can't imagine why....?). Anyway, hope you enjoyed the game last night! :)
cell phones cause cancer, the water in cornhell causes cancer.
Life causes cancer.
We're all screwed.
You'll be happy to know the beer industry had my share of support. ;)
Quote: "Well, maybe behind beer and sex."
Soooo...you're saying that in your life's order of priorities, beer comes before sex?
Come on man! I knew you were passionate about your job, but really?...
lol. ;)
My friend is moving to the states this year sometime, I suspect sooner than later actually. I wanted to ask you what cuty you live in. She is moving to Salt ake City I think...Mormon country aint it?
I saw something similar on the Today show...I mean how ridiculous! There has to be a time in life when you can eat nachos, drink beer and have fun!
~grilled chicken tenders instead of wings?!~ I think not!
Worse news: I read somewhere that giving blow jobs also causes cancer.
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