That Guy

So I guess that in everyone's life they have "That Guy."

He's the one who does so many things to irritate the shit out of you, and yet still you manage to be civil and polite. Usually you work with him, and you have absolutely no choice but to deal with him, so you try to be nice. But there are so many things that you would love to slap the shit out of him for...

Recently "That Guy" in my life has acquired a new trait. One that has managed to put him over the top in the realm of "irritating as shit."

One day sitting at my desk, I managed to notice a particular odor that invaded the entire room. It filled every nook and cranny in the place, and while it wasn't a "bad" smell, it didn't smell "good" by any judgment. But the smell faded soon enough, and that was it.

The next day the same odor managed to fill the room yet again. It was even more pungent and managed to be quite irritating in the fact that it was ALL that I could smell. But again it faded from the room, and was gone from all but memory. That is, until I went to use the restroom, and I smelled it again. That same scent just filling the room and invading every receptor in my nostrils. It was even more pungent than before and the memory seared itself into my brain. But I didn't smell it again that day, and I was sure glad as hell that I didn't.

The next day, about the same time as before, a head pokes itself into my office and the smell follows it. It's THAT GUY, the guy that infuriates me beyond belief, and the smell is somehow coming from him. It is annoying, it is pungent, and it is invading the sanctity of my office. The room is filled with this scent instantly and it's as if I've been given a death sentence by "gas chamber." So as politely as possible, I posed the question; "Hey, are you wearing a new cologne?"

His response is so positive it's overwhelming. Apparently he has tracked down a scent that he has fallen in love with! He's found a whole line of products with this scent! Hooray for him!

So this pervasive odor invading my office is the result of the assholes at this company manufacturing every product known to man. Cologne, Aftershave, Body Wash, Bar Soap, and Lotion... All of them containing this miraculous scent that somehow smells like a cross between a mild vinegar, a skunk fart, and a beer belch. (Maybe it's not that bad, but it sure does fucking reek.)

So not only does this guy CONSTANTLY irritate the shit out of me with the things that he does, and not only do I have to put up with him because of work, but now every time he walks past my door the memory of how much this asshole bothers me comes flooding into the room...


So how on earth do I deal with this shit now? I can't stand that smell. I seriously want to vomit every time the odor hit's my nostrils. And unfortunately I have no clue how to convey to someone that their bathing in, spraying on, and then moisturizing with, this one scent has managed to make him smell as if he is in fact made entirely of it. Even if it were a good smell, it would be to much. The fact that it is a bad smell is just going to drive me insane.