Thursday, January 31, 2008

Substantive Post? How About: "That Guy" Part Four

So I am sitting here trying to come up with a post containing substance, when all I can do is think about how much "That Guy" made me mad today.

If you want to know who "That Guy" is without reading the posts, a simple synopsis is that he's that guy in your life (could be a girl), usually at work but not necessarily, that you're about two seconds from beating the shit out of should he/she somehow finally step over the line... But he stays there, right at the edge of an ass kicking, pushing just enough buttons to keep you furious. He thinks that he's everyone's friend and that everyone finds his bullshit humorous. He's dead wrong...

And "That Guy" also rears his ugly head at other times in life. The guy that jumps the queue when driving. The guy that takes ten minutes when ordering at the drive through when you have six minutes to get lunch. There's dozens of examples in life when you end up saying; "Holy Shit, you're that guy. That guy that I would murder if it wouldn't make Jesus hate me."

Well today "That Guy" was in great form. That guy is doing everything he can to push the rules at work, seeing if he can somehow do whatever the hell he wants and not get fired.

In Late? ---- Fuck yeah, by about an hour, every other day. Not that we're hourly, but still, nice of the fucker to show up when he gets to it...

Not Dressed Professionally? ---- Yep, and that's not the worst part. Quote; "What, I don't have to deal with clients, and my boss is gone, so why not. You're just jealous..." When in fact we can have brand reps in at any time, and I'd like to make sure that they feel that the millions of dollars they spend with us is justified as being spend on the most professional company in the industry. Some jackass in jeans walking around doesn't convey "professional" it conveys "must be the mail boy." I guess I'm old fashioned, or he's a douche. I'm guessing that I might be right.

Long Lunches? ---- Another result of his boss being gone. The fucker disappeared for two hours today, left his phone on his desk, and had info that we somehow needed... Not that I felt that he could ever produce anything that could not better (yeah, I know I'm being a hater, it was a long day), but the one time that a project he was assigned to would have been useful, he's nowhere to be found and incommunicado.

The list goes on and on, but today we managed to get ourselves into a very good yelling match, in which I called him a lazy sack of shit when I had enough of his shit... Apparently "lazy sack of shit" pushes his buttons more than any other statement known to man. He was fucking pissed. I was enjoying every second of it. Of course, when the argument continued, I could not hold back on the reasons that prove his "lazy sack of shitness".

I brought up the fact that I make more than him, even though he went to a ridiculously fancy private school that I will not name, simply for the sake of not associating that institution with that P.O.S. (You've heard of it...)

I brought up the fact that I've been promoted above him twice in the past year.

I brought up the fact that he does less at work, and expects more for it than anyone in the history of his job. Evidenced by his interviewing for a promotion that he got denied on, and being the only guy that didn't get a raise at the end of the last year. (Yeah, I went there)

And then, to drive it home, I just fucking fired one last shot over the bow...


"And then there was the whole; 'fired from the job that you had before here,' and getting your current job just because you knew someone, and not on merit."


I think I might have gone a bit far.


Then I called him a douchebag.

6 comments:

Brunhilda said...

You're going to have an awesome next couple of weeks at work after that. Ha.

John said...

just to make yourself feel better, start putting shit in his coffee or messing with his emails when he's not around. watch "the office" for lots of ideas on how to fuck with someone! any day you call someone a douchebag is a good day!

Girl in a Guy's World said...

So, he peed in your Wheaties then, huh?

(*backs away slowly and carefully...*)

WiscoBlonde said...

I love the douchebag end.....if you're going to cross the line, you might as well sail right over it!

The Charming Hedonist said...

There's this guy, J, who is marrying my cousin. He's That Guy. My roommate was invited to celebrate Christmas with my entire family (a big Christmas Eve tradition we do) because she doesn't have any family here, and I was telling her about J. She asked which one he was and I said to just pop her head in the door, take a look around and he's the biggest douche in the house. She came back and immediately knew who he was.

That is how I imagine your work douche. I hate that guy!

travistee said...

Sounds like he has a serious sense of entitlement...