Monday, April 2, 2007

That Guy (Part Two)

You all may remember my post about "That Guy" at work. The one that needs to one up everything that you do. And yes, it could be a female at your work, but "That Guy" exists in every workplace. If you don't know who "That Guy" is at work, you may be "That Guy." If that's the case, fuck you.

Well, as I said, this is the second in a series of posts about "That Guy." The first was on my old blog, just describing "That Guy," and pointing out his existence. This one goes into depth about "That Guy" at my work.

As of Monday morning, he apparently is a better handicapper than the people that Vegas casinos employ. In general conversation today, he managed to select EVERY baseball team that I did not as a winner in todays major sporting events. If he had done this BEFORE I was talking about my picks to the group, it would be one thing. Today he chose to deride every choice I made with the alternative AFTER I made it. As in, RIGHT AFTER. Then there was the NCAA Tournament... Case in point:

Stormin: "I think that the Gators have a fair shot at being the first team in a long time to repeat in the NCAA tourney tonight..."

That Guy: "NOT A CHANCE IN HELL... Ohio state is shooting better from the field, they have a more consistent team, oh and the little fact that nobody has repeated in like thirty years... ESPN simulated this one last night with EA's basketball game, and Ohio won."

So I sat their stunned and wondering where first to attack his collection of idiocy.
-First, the last team to repeat was Duke in the early nineties, and they did it with a similar group of returning players. That also happened to be one of the most amazing NBA draft classes in history, but what the hell, maybe he meant 15 years, half of thirty.
-Second, recently Florida has been shooting quite well. Over 60% from the field in their last game.
-Third, HE'S CITING A VIDEO GAME AS A REFERENCE... I VIDEO GAME... I beat Michael Schumacher in qualifying at the Bahrain Grand Prix in F1: Championship Edition, that doesn't make me faster than him.

But I let it all go, and just said: "We'll know tonight... Want to put a couple bucks on it?" To which his immediate response was; "No, I don't bet on college basketball, it's to unpredictable."

HE JUST PREDICTED THE RESULT OF THE GAME!!!

As I said before this, unfortunately, is someone that I don't have a choice but to deal with. I think in the future I will just keep it to work, where my numbers crush his, and all he has is excuses...

(So the above was typed earlier, and then this addenda has been added.)

And now apparently, TG is an expert in predicting the NHL playoffs. When asked why I now have the beginnings of a beard, I explained to a coworker that it's kind of a hockey tradition to grow a beard for the playoffs. And while I just started this bad boy on Saturday, I will have it until the Dallas Stars are Stanley Cup Champions (or their season ends, which ever comes first)... So this brings up a voracious debate about hockey. A sport whereby TG has limited access and no genuine knowledge, but has selected a team and will stand behind them to the death. This team happens to be the Pittsburgh Penguins. Historically, sure they're a good team to back. Mario Lemieux was a great player, the team has a storied history that makes them a fan favorite, so OK.
He likes the team for none of these reasons. Apparently he just picked a random team, and right now they happen to be successful. They have more points than my Stars, but play in a different conference, and so the only way that they will face each other is in the final. But on and on he goes about their record and how they have more points. They've played each other once this season and Pittsburgh won by one goal, and I knew that (he did not obviously, or it would have been brought up) but I chose not to mention it.


So now I hate this guy even more, because he happens to be an ignorant douche that has no clue but talks a big game about EVERY game.


Go GATORS!!!!

10 comments:

Malnurtured Snay said...

Just kick him in the nuts.

WiscoBlonde said...

How do people become "That Guy"? Were they not hugged enough?

MadameBoffin said...

I'm with Snay. It's time to dropkick the wanker.

cadiz12 said...

i hate that guy.

little things said...

Whenever I feel lonely working from home by myself, I think of That Guy and That Girl and once again enjoy my solitude!

Eve said...

i hate that guy.

curmudgeon said...

The only way to fix his wagon is to set him up for a bogus trap.
He'll mouth off at something sometime, and you'll most eloquently point out how he was led into it.

Me Myself and I said...

I'm glad That Guy doesn't work in my office.

Me Myself and I said...

Also, I hate people to talk about things they really know nothing about. It is neither impressive nor intelligent.

curmudgeon said...

"Also, I hate people to talk about things they really know nothing about. It is neither impressive nor intelligent."

Better stay away from my blog then...