Day Thirty

And just like that, we made it.

Some amazing feats went into making NaBloPoMo a reality.

I posted with my phone from Vegas for four days. Some of those were rather drunken days, but I still posted.

I kept the sports posts to a minimum, which I though was going to be the hardest thing to do. Normally if there is nothing else to talk about, there is something involving sports...

And I posted every day in the month of November. The one thing that I had to do to make it count, and with this post I manage to pull it off.


Eleven months until next November... I'm already looking forward to it.

Day Twenty Nine

So I am sitting here wondering what the hell is up with Bryant Gumbel being an NFL announcer?

Seriously. It's 5:45PM and this S.O.B.'s voice is all but putting me to sleep.

Many people at work put money on this game, with Dallas giving up six and a half points...


My money is on the Pack to win. But as far as work is concerned, I took the points for $200. We make it worth while when gambling about stuff at work.

Unless you happen to be with the state gambling commission. In that case, the betting is all hypothetical, we would never gamble on sports at work.

:-)


GO PACK!!!!!!!

Day Twenty Eight

So with the end of the month fast approaching the one thing on everyone's mine must be original post titles the fast approaching Christmas holiday.

Here's a list of thing that I will, and will not be doing this holiday:

1: I will buy a tree. I am so far out of line on this one. Normally this is up the day after Thanksgiving and now here I am almost a week after the holiday and I haven't gotten a damn thing done.

2: I will keep Egg Nog in the fridge at all times. I know that you don't have to drink this only during the holidays, but I sure as hell can't think of a reason to pour out a glass of this stuff in July...

3: I will not be getting wasted on Egg Nog and ruining it for the rest of my life. This is the whole problem with St Patty's day and the Irish Car Bomb... I can't drink these at any time of year except on St Patty's Day, because of how trashed I got on them a couple years back. It takes 364 days to forget that feeling of just being wrecked.

4: I will do my best to buy gifts for my clients that I feel have done their best to do their best for my company's brands. And in the spirit of the season I will be down right nice to the people that I feel have been nothing but pricks all year. But I sure as shit will not be buying them a gift.

5: I will REMEMBER to call my family on Christmas. Thanksgiving was an 8 o'clock (PM) memory... I think that I have to do better than that on Christmas.

6: I will not eat any fruit cake, for any reason. Every holiday season I get talked into a single slice and then immediately remember why I hate that shit. And it's the same thing every time; "but mine is really good," and IT ISN'T... It's SHIT.

7: I will not hate the holiday because of the incessant over playing of Christmas music. Every year the damn "holiday rotation" pushes me right to the edge and it's a dangerous battle to not be the Grinch.

8: I will not be concerned only with work up until the last minute. I do have to go into work on the 24th for a few hours, but I am not going to get so wrapped up in it that I forget about the holiday.

9: I will not cancel of reschedule my vacation. It's in two weeks (well, more like nine days) and I am not going to miss it. I may not leave town... Thinking about hiding in my house... Probably playing Rock Band for days...

10: AND FINALLY - I will not blog every single day. Maybe every other day. Maybe...

Day Twenty Seven

I think this officially is the longest consecutive streak of blog posts for me in three years (counting the old blog, but I think I get to, as technically it all was "If It Was That Simple").

Not that any of them contain any real substantive info, but at least I have managed to burn the calories that the typing requires, right?

The knee was killing me today (t-minus 2.5 months until I feel sure enough about my job being covered that I can take the time off to get it fixed), and then my idiot boss decides to lay into me about something that wasn't my fault and I could not fix.

I cut her off, and said one very simple thing. "Hey, I didn't fuck that up, and if I had, I MIGHT sit through this lecture. But last time I checked, that wasn't my job and I can't affect the people who do that job, so save your fucking tirade for them."

I think that may have pissed her off a bit. Good. Serves the bitch right.

In retrospect perhaps telling her to "save her fucking tirade" might get me a bit of a scowl from her boss if she presses the issue, but I really don't care. I'm playing hurt, and still doing a better job than anyone else on my team (which is the reason that I don't want to take three weeks off).

They're damned if they let me get away with it, because it asserts my power over the people who are sure that they have power over me...
They're damned if they do even the slightest thing about it, because then I take three weeks that they have to give me at any time I ask, and they're even more screwed than if they had just let me do whatever the fuck I want.

I'm bulletproof.

Or at least bullet resistant...

Unfortunately I am not tired resistant, and I am off to bed. G'nite all.

Day Twenty Six

So, to clarify for Megan, these creative blog titles are the result of NaBloPoMo, which is a good time but I'm burning up all of my creativity with these posts every day. So the titles just get the back seat to glorious posts.

That may be debatable...

It took all of a single day for me to realize that life would not be complete without the Rock Band game, so after some perusing I actually found it locally "second hand" in an unopened box and for right at what I would have paid after sales tax. I think it's costing me nine bucks more... Big deal, I'm paying it.

In response to my quest to play more video games, I am now sitting here doing more work that I could pass on, but I feel the need to be responsible. So I am hammering out some spread sheets for the people that work for me detailing their work for the next three months... I might as well get it all done ahead of time.

Day Twenty Five

So today I am so hoarse that I can barely speak. That is my punishment for being out screaming about football for hours. Thank god the Colts already won on Thursday.

I spent the morning playing Rock Band over at a friends house, which I now feel is the greatest party game ever thanks to the two guitars, drums, and microphone set-up. Four people playing at once, and all of us having a great time. I decided that I wanted to buy it, and the damn game is sold out everywhere.

I couldn't find a copy of it in Washington state after scouring the internet and making a few phone calls. So of course I though that E-Bay would have been a viable option. It was... But I have no desire to pay more than the standard list price for the game, regardless of how popular it has become. So I guess that I'll just wait until after Christmas when I'm sure there will be a hundred copies at every store, and no lines...

Day Twenty Four

So it really turned out to be one of those "buckle the fuck up and hold on" kinda days.

Today was the Apple Cup, a football game between The University of Washington Huskies, and The Washington State University Cougars which is a tradition that goes back 100 years. Exactly 100 years this year. It's a traveling game, alternating back and forth between schools every year. This year the dirty Cougars traveled to Seattle to take on my beloved Huskies.

The game is intense every year, and the Centennial Game was a huge deal. So the partying had to get underway early. The game was at 4PM...

So we started the tailgating at 9AM...

Tailgating is a football tradition in every city, and up at the UW we do it right. The Tyee parking lot is full of people, pop-up canopies, barbecues and various other wonderful cooking apparatuses, and beer. We kicked it off something FIERCE today. Usually the game is around 1PM, so we had an extra three hours due to the 4PM start to get the party going right.

The following are personal stats of mine from the game:

Beers consumed BEFORE the start of the game - 15
Footballs thrown around the parking lot (remember I have a torn ACL) - 4
Bowls of Chili consumed - 3
Bratwursts consumed - 3
Number of ass smacks given out, followed by "good game" - To many to count...

We ended up losing the game in the last minute by giving up a ridiculous touchdown. Everyone was far more muted after the game. I am so tired, I have lost my voice, and I think I might have tweaked my knee a bit. It's not really bending well.


In closing, the following clip has had me laughing for the past two days, so I had to post it. It's not work appropriate due to the profanity and racial jokes, but if you're anything like me, that doesn't stop you from laughing about it.

Day Twenty Three

So here we are on the twenty third day of the month, and I can already see myself getting sick of Christmas music soon.

I went out today shopping. Bought some groceries, Guitar Hero Three, and did not find a Christmas tree...

I did not make it into work. Shocking. I also did not bother to call anyone informing them of that fact. I think that they will be OK without me for a single day.

More tree searching tomorrow. ;-)

Thanksgiving Day

A minor break from our NaBloPoMo post titles...

T-Day has been great. There has been so much deliciousness consumed, the TV has been screamed at (GO COLTS!!!!), and the dishes are even done...

We're all sedated in the living room, sitting around telling fun stories, and winding down.

The dinner was remarkable. As I have no family in this state, a good friend adopted me and I spent Thanksgiving with him and his family. It was a blast. He warned me that it would be a crazy and fun time... He was right.

Tomorrow I have to feign interest at the office for somewhere around 4-5 hours, and then it's two more days off.

Why my company can't just admit that the Friday after Thanksgiving is useless is beyond me. But we'll all show up, screw around, and call it a day early.

Hope everyone had a great day.

-Stormin Out

Day Twenty One

My most favorite statement in the entire world: "I didn't say that..."

I swear to God, the world has become a place where every business conversation needs to be recorded, and every call taped.

I spent the entire day working on a program that was set up for a major retail chain to go into action at all of their stores I oversee on December 1st (OK, November 30th, as the first is a Saturday), and things were going smoothly. They were until the District Manager of these stores put his F'ing opinion into the picture. "I don't think that it should look so 'beer party.' I just want it to be more tasteful." This (like Monday) happens to be another case of stores wishing that they were more "upmarket."

I don't care about "upmarket" in a majority of grocery chains... I'll make that clear right away. Do I shop at Metropolitan Market, Whole Paycheck Foods, and Nordstrom? Yes, of course I do, but I can afford to do so and expect to PAY MORE for the service that I expect while there. It's the same thing as the car. I may pay more, but I expect the service that comes with it. My dealers service department knows me by name and has a loaner ready for me when I arrive, my shoe guy knows my size and my tastes (never brown shoes, for any reason), and my butcher knows that my Bone-In Rib Eye Steaks need to be an inch and a half thick... Just some examples of the many reasons I love where I shop...

The chain in question is not one where I would say people expect that level of service. It's a huge retailer, but they happen to run killer pricing and serve a huge market. That's their game, and they're good at it (and no, it isn't WalMart, I'd quit).

In short, they are a kinda "beer party" market, and so we designed a "beer party" kinda promotion...

And everything was going fine until the area manager that I deal with in setting up the beer programs heard that his DM did not like the concept. Meeting with the two of them at the office the exchange went as follows:

DM: "I just think that we should have had a little more communication between you and Area Manager about this program and taking it to the next level before we were this close to it kicking off."

Stormin: "I agree that communication about something of this size is key. AM and I spoke about this several times, and both came to the conclusion that it offered an attractive way to inspire customers to purchase more beer for their holiday celebrations."

AM: "I never said that... I said that we could look into using it as a base to improve upon."

At this point Stormin had to suppress what it known as "The Killing Urge." Or in the least, try not to call him a lying sack of shit...

Stormin: "I do recall that we talked about this a bunch, but I don't remember you asking for changes."

AM: "Well..."

DM (Cutting Off AM): "I think that it's a good place to start. Can we work with this initial merchandising idea and take it a bit more upmarket? Perhaps using the initial concept, but work on adding a bit more classiness to it?"

At this point I want to say, "Of course, spend more of our money to increase your sales, why not right?" But I had to say:

Stormin: "I'd bet that this could be worked into exactly what we need with a bit of creativity. Let me work on it over the weekend, and I will see you with it on Monday."

Because if I had said anything else, we would have had to scrap it and start fresh. So now I am going to be "brain-stormin" all weekend about how to rework the program while maintaining some kind of budget... And what gets me upset are three little things.

1: Why is it that a store feels such a need to be upscale in their programs when they aren't catering to that crowd. They aren't going to be stealing any WF or Met Market customers any time soon, so why bother trying to sell that to people that are happy shopping there because the store is not that type of retailer. It's not as if they are encouraging that type of service, just the look. It's a $10,000 paint job on a $5,000 car (metaphorically speaking, in case someone missed that)...

2: Why do they have no concept that increased spending on our part only leads to increased prices for them in the end, because we have to make that money up somewhere (again, we aren't talking small dollars here, but it's spread across a large volume of product)? We aren't just going to go over budget on a program and eat that loss...

3: Why can't that sack o' shit AM at least own up to the fact that he did like the program. It's one thing to see something for the first time, and ride your boss' coat tails with a negative opinion. It's another thing to not back up what you initially said and change the story at the last second. I'll certainly be getting him back for that one...

Day Twenty

So the big deal today is the return of the douchebaggery of That Guy at the office in a big way.

He was adamant today about our company's "Open Door Policy." It's basically the whole "we want everyone to feel welcome" concept and our execution of it. Everyone's door is always open in case someone needs to come by and talk about something. And 99% of the time it makes perfect sense. But there are moments when the rule must be bent in order to accommodate practicality.

Today I was on a conference call with some people from California and one person from France. (Well, the guy calling form France was a Californian too, he just happened to be in France.)

This is one of those moments when the "open door policy" is impractical and stupid. I need to be uninterrupted in the whole call because it is taking up the time of some very important people and saying, "What was that," over and over again is downright rude. So I shut my door during the call.

Apparently at that very moment, That Guy desperately needed some information from me, and instead of calling, emailing, putting up smoke signals, or sending me a text message, he had to stop by. The door was shut and without knocking, he attempted to open it... But I had thought about that eventuality and had locked my door. So of course I had a bit of a chuckle in my office when I heard him run into what he thought would be an open door, but thought nothing of it.

After my call I had four voicemails... Three of them from That Guy (which I saw on my caller ID and ignored), none of which requested the information that he needed, but all asking about my door being locked. Then one from our H.R. department asking me to stop by. I am totally unafraid of them (unlike most people) and so of course I head right over.

The entire thing was basically; "Why would you violate a very clear policy about making others feel welcome?" But then followed by, "That Guy had a very important question that you're paid to know the answer to, and he had to wait to finish his work because of it."

I wanted to call him every foul word I could think of, but instead let it go. I just explained what had happened, the conference call, and that I was taking up the time of some very important people.

HR Lady: "OH... That's actually a really good reason. Sorry to drag you down here. Can you let him know why you had your door closed?"

Stormin: "Yeah, I'll get right on it."

Stormin to That Guy five minutes later: "Hey, next time you have a question that is more important than an international call, let me know..."

That Guy: "Well I was just trying to make sure that you were aware of the policy that we have open doors BLAH BLAH BLAH..."

I shut his door as I walked away from his office...

Day Nineteen

So it has been a day of wonderful things.

-A guy who works for my "forgot that he had to be in today..." To bad I can't tell payroll to forget that he works here.

-A retail chain criticized a program that I set up because the Point Of Sale that went along with it didn't have "the look they were hoping for." When I asked about the look that they wanted, the response was fast. "More, 'Saks Fifth Avenue.' Make it look luxurious and expensive." This is a program on which we spent almost triple what our competition did with their promotions and was so favored by the corporate management that they declared it the only mandatory merchandising program of the quarter... But hey, they need it to be more expensive...

-A different branch of the same retail chain called me to tell me how great the new set up in the beer department looked. I was in such a foul mood that I had to fake joy at the compliment (that I really should have been happy about). I just wanted to say; "Hey, how about you give douchebag at the other store a call and let him know that. I damn well hope it looks good, I designed it."

-The guy who "forgot" shows up at ONE PM... He is done by 5:30PM...

-I leave work at 7:00PM, having started at 6:00AM.


I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I don't even want to do anything, I just like the resting part of the day, but I already promised a friend that I would come to his celebration. It should be a great time.

Day Eighteen

So day eighteen certainly was productive. I spent the entire day working and got a ton done. I think that I am planning to take Friday off because of all of the time that I have put in with the extra Sunday at work.

But hey, my Colts won and so I am happy. It was way to close for comfort, and I think that we are seriously in need of improvement before the playoffs, but something like half of the team is injured...

More tomorrow kids. I'm heading out to dinner.

DAY 17

So I guess that I'm a lazy bastard. Today has been me desperately trying to get some rest during my one day off...

Tomorrow is going to be a whole day at work, and I don't give a damn if I am going to take Thursday off. Tomorrow is going to be a whole day at work...

Stormin Out...

Day 16

Yes, you will all be suffering though another fourteen days of these crappy post titles, but I am addicted to their lack of simplicity and so I think that I will keep it up.

I'm here today to present spy shots of a product not yet available on the market. And it's not THIS CRAP, which happens to be wrong in so many ways that I can't even begin to describe my loathing (not clicking on that link causes things below to not make sense, so I do recommend it). And that's disregaurding the whole "direct competitor" thing.

So here it is:

That's right people, Rockstar Roasted. The greatest thing to happen to coffee since Juan Valdez!

And now that I have bashed our only competitor, I'd like to explain why...

1: Can Labeling - Note that all of our flavors here are clearly described. Even the fact that we happen to have a "Light" variant, and what makes it light, is clearly labeled. The competition? Nope...

2: Brand Unity - Why the hell they put the Coffee (and at that "Java") first on their can is beyond me. It's a classy looking can, and then they shove their company name to the basement on the label. What gives? Our name is right at the top, where it belongs. We want people to pick this up because it says Rockstar. We know that the liquid inside will keep them coming back.

3: Flavor Selection - As if some BS like having to compete with "Mean Bean" isn't enough, at least we chose flavors that people know. I will admit that Seattle is a huge coffee market (top three in the nation volume wise, though if you break to "per capita" I think we're number one) so we have an edge here over other markets at launch. But even if the city I'm in happens be a bit more savvy than some others, "Latte," "Mocha," and Light Vanilla" all happen to convey flavor concepts that people WANT when ordering coffee regardless of where they're ordering it.

4: Brand Base - Out here Rockstar outsells Redbull. Nuff said...

5: Taste - I've had the Java's, and I have to say that these kick major ass in the flavor department. The coffee is the predominant flavor, with no harsh "energy drink kick" at the finish. Not overly creamy, but with a true espresso taste. (And about triple the caffeine, with all of the other Rockstar goodness thrown in.)

So look forward to seeing this stuff sometime in mid-December at a store near you. I'll be drinking it so much (it's really tasty) that I'll probably be sick of it by then... But all of my cans say this:



Let me know what you think when you try it. I'm already making cold and blended iced drinks with Baileys, Kahlua, etc... They are MONEY.

Day Fifteen

So here we are back to full fledged blogging thanks to a quick recovery by the good people at Gateway. Normally I won't plug to many products on the blog, but they came through fast, and so I'll give them props. Anyone that manages to get my stuff back to working in a single day is fine by me.

In other news, work is a zoo thanks to Thanksgiving and the delightful collection of nightmares left for me while I was away in Vegas last week. This week has certainly kept me busy, and halfway through the month I am already thinking about Christmas. Mostly because it is tradition to begin the tree picking out, cutting down, and decorating the day after Thanksgiving. This mostly means that there will be a large thing in my living room for a month and a half, and that I will need to find new and inventive ways to keep the damn dog from drinking all the water. The suggestion of a fake tree was brought up by a coworker and that was shot down real fast. The only reasons to not have a REAL TREE up are as follows:

1: Allergy to pine pollen or rosin.

2: You're Jewish (I know a few people who like the tree as a holiday symbol and put one up anyways.)

3: You're Muslim (I don't know any Muslims who put up a tree anyways, but I can't see why they couldn't)

4: You're a Jehovah's Witness. (This is one of the reasons that me and The Witnesses don't get along. Come on, CELEBRATE!)

5: You have burnt down the house recently enough that the request for a real tree is still a bit of a sore subject.

That bunny being on the floor always makes me smile... It's the real victim in that fire. ;-)


So in a week (and a day) I will be hiking through a field with a saw, it will probably be raining, and I will be having a great time.

Day 14

So, my computer's power supply is totally dead.

I'm stuck with mobile blogging until the bastards at Gateway fix this thing. Which has been making me mad all day.

It's not like I have no other computers. I have two.

But those are work machines, and I have no desire to connect the dots between work, and my blog.

I'll keep hammering out BS on my mobile. At least in Vegas I got used to it.

Day Thirteen

So I guess that the saying, "There's no place like home," is really the truth. I already miss the constant party and apparently infinite energy that Las Vegas somehow imparts, but I am so glad to be home.

A total recap is in order, but first, I have to talk about what happened when I got home. Miss Very Nice and I met up and went to the Seahawks game together. Great seats courtesy of work, and we had a great time. I had kinda sworn her off (at least two people reading this are shaking their heads at me), but it was nice to come home to someone familiar, and I really do enjoy being around her. The Seahawks game was great, the stadium packed and loud, and hanging out after the game was a good time too. I got to bed after midnight, and that is a whole lot harder to do AFTER Vegas than while in Vegas.

And now for the recap. My trip, by the numbers...

Number of times that the Concierge showed up at my room for SOMETHING - 4

Number of times that housekeeping stopped by to clean up - 8

Number of plates brought by room service to serve ONE MEAL - 5

Number of times that they brought that many plates - 3

Number of hours that I slept in four days - 8

Number of Rockstars / Rockstar and Vodkas that I drank - 18


All said, it was the most amazing vacation that I have ever been on.

Day 12

And just like that, I am on the way home.

A comprehensive post about the trip will follow, but I am just worn down. I get back into town at 2:30PM, and I'm supposed to be at the Seahawks game at 5:30PM...

Wow what a trip this has been.

Screaming In Vegas...

ADAM VINATERI IS A SON OF A BITCH...

Day 11 (Which is mostly about Day 10)

So this one has been eventful. And it's only a few minutes old.

After playing Craps with Phil Ivey (I still am not sure if I'm spelling that right) I had a huge reception and dinner with 500 of my closest work friends. And by work friends I mean people who have my job all over the country. Our commonality is our brand...

The company was a bunch of phenominal people.

And dinner was amazing.

To start, lobster bisque with ostreta caviar and creme fraiche (sp? it's amazing how much I need spell check on my phone, and even in French, feel free to point out errors in the comments). Simply fantastic.
Wine: Sterling Napa Sauv Blanc

A mixed green salad with the thickest balsamic I have ever seen on the top. Just a light drizzle of vinegar easily twice my age. And a very small amount of good olive oil.
Scrumptious.
Wine:Canoe Ridge Chardonnay

Roasted Kobe beef tenderloin with demi glaze and baby vegetables.
Wow. That beef was capable of being cut with a fork. Perfect medium rare in the center. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it... Easily the best beef I have ever had, and well worth whatever it cost.
(UPDATE: OK, so I called and asked about the Kobe beef tenderloin at the steakhouse here. I had to know... $350 for the 10oz. portion we enjoyed.)
Wine: Sagelands Cabernet

For desert, the most incredible dark chocolate torte, with espresso ice cream. They went to the troble of having paper thin wafers (you could almost see through them) of very dark chocolate made in the shape of our company's logo on one side, and our names on the other... Somehow desert topped the tenderloin just because it was so cool.
Wine: Chateau Y'Quem Sauternes

And we thought that could not be topped...

After a speach about our hard work with the brand, the progress we had made, and our goals for next year (The speach may have been a bit corny, but it is a "work event" and we have to act like we shouldn't be required to pay the taxes), they pulled back the curtains that split the room to reveal the poker tournament.

GAME ON. I was amped.

500 people at 50 tables. The buy in was covered and we each started with $1500 in chips.

I made it through the first round. Go me right? I'm sure that half of the people at the tables had no clue what was going on. But hey, one down and a few to go.

I got a few good deals in a row, took down some big pots, and I was into the fourth round, with 7 tables remaining.

A little slow play by me to keep the chips in check while I got nothing better than a suited 5-8 (clubs, and I made my flush) and I'm down to the final three tables.

I look down at my next hand and I've got a pair of kings. I'm in for $3000 with 4 other guys at the table... The flop comes down King, Queen, Ten and I check back to one guy who's been trying to play agressive all night. I guess it had worked so far for him that night. He goes all in. The next guys folds, and the third guy is all in right away... Before the second players cards made it back to the dealer.

I'm thinking that I may have to worry a bit, but screw it, it's fun, and I'm all in. Three men betting, and I'm the only one who can afford to lose (my bet covered the other two by six grand, as they were tied with $15,000 each). First guy turns up two Tens... Second guy a pair of Queens... My Kings hit the table and one guy (a friend from Idaho) who was spectating by this point actually yells out "That's how you play that shit Stormin. You're my boy blue!" Everyone broke up laughing. The next two cards were a five and an eight, and I took down $45,000 in one hand. WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

That got a "When it's game time, it's pain time baby!" comment from my boss who was watching. The tables get condensed, and I'm part of the final ten with a good stack of chips. The final table... Sweet...

A few good hands, and I'm all in with pocket kings before the flop. $220,000 on the table... Son of a bitch catches running fives and I'm out. Motherfucker.

It was fun.

Day 10

I just watched Phil Ivey (sp?) lose $50,000 playing craps. I was betting against him and won $500.

One of those moments where I had to realise that $50,000 to him is probably less than five bills is to me. It was a very cool time win or lose. The table was loud and all over the place with $1000 chips. He had stacks on his point, the six, the eight, the hard ways.

Threw down some cash on seven and he was DONE.

As for the rest of this weekend. I have had eleven Rockstars in the past three days, and slept a total of six hours... Vegas is definitely a different place.

Day... Still a bit lost

So I just got home from the club. I think it's 4:30 AM

Maybe.

I'm not sure. I'm tired and it has been one amazing evening.

MAN DOWN will be a rallying cry at work for at least a half a decade or so.

Every once in a while a job has one of the moments where you appreciate everything about work... Seeing my boss' boss grind up on girls to "The Way I Are" (Timbaland) makes every minute of work worth while. But wait, there's more.

Tucking his drunk ass in a half hour ago was even better.

And I have spent (literally) $20 so far. In two days I've spent less than I spend in gas when I'm home.

So this post may be a bit random, but bear with me. I'm getting paid to party.

Love you guys.

-Stormin.

Day... I have no clue.

We have been partying our asses off. But I recall my NaBloPoMo obligations...

So this is like... My cheating and posting nothing but somehow getting away with it.

Love you guys.. (LOL. Totally not that drunk.)

-Stormin

Day Eight or is it Nine

So I have no idea what time it is, but the Wynn is beautiful.

My suite is nicer than my house.

More random things later. Now I need to get a bit of sleep to make golf tomorrow.

Day Eight

VEGAS!!!

More to follow later today. I have cut out of work and am on my way to the airport. Hooray mobile blogging.

Day Seven (Part One)

OK.

So yesterday I did one thing on that list I made. I worked my ass off.

I did that today.

I did that the day before yesterday.

I'm starting to feel that vacation is somehow just a way to advocate the four day sixty hour work week. Of course, this trip is work, so I guess that it is advocating working through the weekend. Oh well, I'll deal.

That said, I have so much to do around the house, that I may need to make a new list...
Off I go to do it now.

Dave Seven (Part Two)

Ok.

Looks like mobile blogging works.

-Laundry- Check
-Packing- Check
-Mobile Blogging- Check
-Work 40 hours in three days- Check

Looks like I'm almost ready for Vegas.

Day Six

So here I am two days before my Vegas excursion and I have done almost nothing to prepare for the trip itself.

I still have to do laundry. After all Vegas requires some clean clothes. I will have to take two days worth of business clothes just for dinner Friday and Saturday, clothes to go out to the club in, clothes for golf, and then casual clothes for the time that I am not at any of the previously mentioned events. I think I will have about seven complete sets of clothes with for a four day trip. And four pairs of shoes... This does not bother me.

I still have to pack. This one isn't just the obvious stuff. I need to pack my golf shoes, gloves, balls, and various trinkets. My rental clubs are covered, but they don't rent all of that other stuff while you're there. I need to pack my laptop, PSP, Nintendo DS, cell phones (yes, I have two) and all of their chargers. My knee brace and Percocet also must make the trip. And then the various toiletries that won't be at the hotel (shaving cream, aftershave lotion, cologne, razor, etc...) while accounting for the TSA and their fascination with denying large amounts of any liquid on planes, by making sure that I don't have to large a container of hair gel or something. Last time they threw away a brand new tube of gel for me. This time I won't be sacrificing $20 for their odd fantasy that I am somehow a terrorist.

I need to clean the house. I don't know why, but I like coming home to a perfectly clean house. I mean NOTHING left to clean... I guess that it just makes the segway from vacation back to normal life easier when you don't get home and feel the need to do anything for at least 12 hours.

I need to prep the people that work for me... This is going to be like a teacher telling the kids to behave and work while they go into the hall for a moment. Not a damn thing will be done while I am gone, and I know that I will come home to more work than I normally have when I am here... So what, I'll at least enjoy my weekend.

I need to print out all of my emails confirming everything for the trip. Nothing like the pain in the ass of trying to show a reservation agent your phone so that she can read the email with your confirmation number. I learned this one years ago the hard way, and now take printed copies of everything with just in case. That and, God forbid, I could manage to kill both of the phones...


And I'm sure that there is more for this list that I just somehow have not mentioned. Little things that I have forgotten about (set up mobile blogging so that I can email in my posts maybe) which will pop up in the next thirty six hours.


You may ask, well why are you wasting time typing this instead of actually working on that list?

Well kids, in order to get ahead at work so that things will go as smoothly as possible while I am going, I was up at 2:00AM this morning, and I am so tired that at 6:00PM all I want is sleep. But NaBloPoMo waits for no man's rest, so here's the post, and I'm off to bed.

Day Five

So, I have so many issues to blog about that I am having serious issues segregating them into separate, coherent, meaningful (maybe?) posts for the blog. And with NaBloPoMo in full swing, I may need to make sure that these things last...

Today's selection from the insanity? THAT GUY at the office, and his rants about conspiracies. And yes, it is THAT SAME F'ING GUY... Now he knows more about the world than anybody else, and has discovered every evil plot currently in existence.

Today's Conspiracy: The Freemasons are trying to take over the world, and have buried their symbols into our culture in a effort to make this more acceptable.

The one that set me off about this one today was someone ranting to me (and this is someone that I work with) about the symbols on the dollar bill being Masonic symbols. The one that set him off was the massive amounts of "thirteens" on the dollar bill. Thirteen arrows in one of the eagles feet, thirteen leaves (and olives) on the olive branch in the other, thirteen layers in the unfinished pyramid, thirteen stripes on the shield, and thirteen stars above the eagle... He kept going on, there are more that I can't recall.

-Confession One- I'm a Freemason.

-Confession Two- I am trying to take over the world.

-Confession Three- Just because I am doing my best to take over the world, it does not mean that every other Freemason is in on it. The organization is about brotherhood, and community. If you need an organization that is doing their best to rule the world, look HERE. (And yes, that link's color is intentional...)

-Confession Four- When I used my time machine to go back into history and investigate these theories before lunch, I found one very common fact about the number 13 that had nothing to do with the Freemasons. Our country had 13 colonies that united to form ONE country. One republic from thirteen independent entities. Perhaps the commonality the 13's on our currency all share happens to have more to do with that, than a diabolical plan to take over the world... I would find the small pentagram hidden in the top right corner of the front of the dollar bill to be far more concerning.


So in closing, the Freemasons are not trying to take over the world by hiding symbols in currency and sponsoring the production of delightful movies with Nicholas Cage...


And there is no pentagram on the dollar bill either. But I bet you all planned on looking, didn't ya?

Day Four

So I was way past right when I predicted that being home before midnight was going to be a challenge. Yesterday, and more specifically last night, was one hell of an adventure.

The work event I had to go to was great fun, it was the anniversary dinner for Whole Foods Seattle, and the entire night was spent talking about beer. We were the exclusive beer provider for the event, and apparently everyone there is just in love with our beer. We had a ton of people, went through a full keg, and I even managed to have three or four or five while at the dinner. Their plans for new developments in store were talked about, and they have some very cool ideas in the works. I must say that one of them is the coolest thing in the grocery buisness ever. But I can't talk about it... If you have a Whole Paycheck Foods near you, make sure to keep an eye on the beer in the next year. ;-)

After that was the lovely JennyK's birthday, which was conveniently planned to take place only a few blocks from the Whole Foods dinner (and totally just a random coincidence). It was a fantastic time. There was one person there that I can't stand, but he was smart enough to not look sideways at me, and so the night went well. As the night went on people slowly went home, and around midnigt even JennyK called it a night. It was just her brother, mother, cousin and I, all left at the bar and we were still carrying on at this point. JennyK's mom had TWO drinks, literally more like one and a half, and was pretty buzzed. It was entertaining. So the four of us were without the entire original birthday party group, and it dawned on us. Saturday night was the end of daylight savings time. At 1:59:59AM Sunday , the next second on the clock is 1:00:00AM Sunday morning, and the party gets to go on for another hour. As it only happens once a year, we had to take advantage of it.

Well JennyK's brother is very gay, and probably the most fun guy to party with in the city of Seattle. He knows everybody and is just a blast. So the plan is to leave the bar we were at, drive (yes, we had someone sober to drive) over to a new bar, and party for three more hours. And of course, Courtney (yes, his given name is Courtney) makes some calls, and off we go to a gay bar on Capital Hill in Seattle. We happened to end up at Manray, which makes any stereotypical gay bar look straight. Loud techno, with music video's playing along on what must be two dozen screens, and a ton of very gay men, with very few straight women sprinkled among the crowd. I make it sound like a bad time... It was hilarious fun.

Apparently I stick out like a giraffe in a pack of dachshunds as a straight man (this is a good thing, but it always makes me laugh) but that does make for a lot of fun at the gay bar. We partied until 2AM, and then everyone wanted breakfast. So off to the IHOP, and that place was PACKED. But there is nothing like a big plate of breakfast at 2:30 in the morning, and the food was the perfect end to the night.

Today I am already wearing the lucky hat, the football is right next to me, and it's game time in an hour and a half...

Day Three

And already I am drawing a blank.

Well that's not entirely true. I'm just sitting here and rushing out a post before I have to leave the house. Tonight is a friends birthday, and I have some stuff that I needed to do with work before hand, so I am kinda hurried. And I would have typed this one out after arriving home, but I can't be sure that I'll be back before midnight, so here we are with the BS post that I was going to try so hard this month to NOT write. OOPS...


But at least I'm still on track.


Tomorrow my Colts play the hated New England Patriots so you all can expect a ridiculous rant about the outcome of the game, whoever wins, and I'll stick to my word that it will be the first of only four posts about football in the month of November.

Monday is going to be all together hectic. We have a major wine supplier coming into town later in the week, and since I am ducking out on Thursday to go to Vegas, all of the work has to be crammed into a smaller number of days.

Tuesday is going to be the most relaxed day of the week. I'm out visiting The Island, and will do my best to not take myself to seriously.

Wednesday is going to be more of the mad rush from Monday.

And on Thursday I guarantee you all that I am going to do no more than four hours of actual work. Maybe less... Because I'm going to be at the airport by 4, and in Vegas by 7. And then the real challenge in posting begins. I wonder if The Wynn has free WiFi?

Day Two

So here I am, fully enjoying Friday with a cold beer or three, and planning what I am going to be doing in Vegas. The trip is next week, and everything is pretty well hammered out. So much so in fact that I don't really have a whole lot of free time while down there to tour around and "do the whole Vegas thing."

I'll do my best to get photos, and I WILL POST DAILY from Vegas, as NaBloPoMo doesn't happen to end with my vacation. :-)

Thursday I arrive, and we have a huge Welcome Ceremony from the beer people that are paying for this trip. Is the huge welcome just a way to kiss our asses right off the bat? Probably, but I'm not complaining. There will also be some beer related speeches to keep us focused on this being a work trip. That's important because I am not paying for a damn thing, so we must pretend that this is a WORK TRIP, and WORK RELATED so that I don't have to pay the taxes.

Friday we are golfing. Two consecutive rounds in a "Battle To The Death." They're spending over $500 a round per person on this golf outing, so we better be working really hard. I think that the knee is going to be hating me at the end of the day, but the only option that's not golf is going to the spa for the day to talk about beer and get massaged. I have a problem with a stranger touching all over me, so I'll just golf with the messed up knee. A beer or two and I'm sure I won't mind. Friday nights dinner will be held at Alex at The Wynn, so thankfully that happens to be where we are staying. A quick shower and a change will be necessary after 9 hours of golf.

Saturday we have a "meeting" that's going to be held over breakfast, and then we are off to play in a poker tournament exclusive to the members of the group. First prize is rumored to be $13,000 cash... If I win it, I'm blowing the money on something stupid. I expect this one to last all day and into the night. Saturday night we are going out to Pure where they happen to have reserved that entire VIP room. (Of course, we will be talking about beer the entire time, this is a business trip.)

Sunday, if I feel like getting up before noon, we have a second day at the spa available to ease things up before going home. I don't know if I will make it. The farewell is at 1PM, and then it's off to the airport to fly home. It is going to be one long weekend, and I think that somehow I won't be as happy with "real life" when I get home... Oh well, I'll live.

Day One

So I had to go and pull a Greg Oden, and injury myself before NaBloPoMo even began.

On my way home from work I had to stop and check on some things. One of them was a beer cooler.

The latch on this fucker would not close. It was just doing it's best to be a bitch... But I am a persistent guy (read: stubborn bastard) and so I kept trying to get this door to latch. And with one last effort, I forced the damn thing as hard as I could, and it clicked shut.
Milliseconds later, my hand slipped, my finger caught on the edge, and I ripped the finger nail off of the first finger on my right hand. And man does that bleed.

So here I am, and typing with nine fingers, but I'm still in the game damn it.



In other news from my day. My boss has gone and pissed me off something royal. She essentially complained about my not doing something that is clearly her job (as in, in her written job description), and then said that if my and my guys didn't step up, there would be hell to pay.

Who the fuck does this snag think she is? My shit is dialed. So well dialed in fact, that I have time to do her job too... But that's not what I get paid for. So until my company gives me a 20% bump in pay, I won't be doing one damn bit of her work. And I made that clear, albeit in a politer manner.

Snag Boss: "Do something that is clearly my job..."

Stormin: "SB, I think you'll have to get that one OK'd by your boss (whom we all call The Jackal), because I don't want to be stepping on any toes."

Snag Boss: "Well if it's not done, there will be some severe consequences..."

Stormin: "Well aware. But at the same time, if you have no idea of whats going on, how will you explain it to The Jackal? You have to be involved..."

That shut her up.



Anyways boys and girls. I am going to go lick my wounds. Hopefully tomorrow this finger feels better and I can hammer out a coherent post. Nite All...