Day Twenty One

My most favorite statement in the entire world: "I didn't say that..."

I swear to God, the world has become a place where every business conversation needs to be recorded, and every call taped.

I spent the entire day working on a program that was set up for a major retail chain to go into action at all of their stores I oversee on December 1st (OK, November 30th, as the first is a Saturday), and things were going smoothly. They were until the District Manager of these stores put his F'ing opinion into the picture. "I don't think that it should look so 'beer party.' I just want it to be more tasteful." This (like Monday) happens to be another case of stores wishing that they were more "upmarket."

I don't care about "upmarket" in a majority of grocery chains... I'll make that clear right away. Do I shop at Metropolitan Market, Whole Paycheck Foods, and Nordstrom? Yes, of course I do, but I can afford to do so and expect to PAY MORE for the service that I expect while there. It's the same thing as the car. I may pay more, but I expect the service that comes with it. My dealers service department knows me by name and has a loaner ready for me when I arrive, my shoe guy knows my size and my tastes (never brown shoes, for any reason), and my butcher knows that my Bone-In Rib Eye Steaks need to be an inch and a half thick... Just some examples of the many reasons I love where I shop...

The chain in question is not one where I would say people expect that level of service. It's a huge retailer, but they happen to run killer pricing and serve a huge market. That's their game, and they're good at it (and no, it isn't WalMart, I'd quit).

In short, they are a kinda "beer party" market, and so we designed a "beer party" kinda promotion...

And everything was going fine until the area manager that I deal with in setting up the beer programs heard that his DM did not like the concept. Meeting with the two of them at the office the exchange went as follows:

DM: "I just think that we should have had a little more communication between you and Area Manager about this program and taking it to the next level before we were this close to it kicking off."

Stormin: "I agree that communication about something of this size is key. AM and I spoke about this several times, and both came to the conclusion that it offered an attractive way to inspire customers to purchase more beer for their holiday celebrations."

AM: "I never said that... I said that we could look into using it as a base to improve upon."

At this point Stormin had to suppress what it known as "The Killing Urge." Or in the least, try not to call him a lying sack of shit...

Stormin: "I do recall that we talked about this a bunch, but I don't remember you asking for changes."

AM: "Well..."

DM (Cutting Off AM): "I think that it's a good place to start. Can we work with this initial merchandising idea and take it a bit more upmarket? Perhaps using the initial concept, but work on adding a bit more classiness to it?"

At this point I want to say, "Of course, spend more of our money to increase your sales, why not right?" But I had to say:

Stormin: "I'd bet that this could be worked into exactly what we need with a bit of creativity. Let me work on it over the weekend, and I will see you with it on Monday."

Because if I had said anything else, we would have had to scrap it and start fresh. So now I am going to be "brain-stormin" all weekend about how to rework the program while maintaining some kind of budget... And what gets me upset are three little things.

1: Why is it that a store feels such a need to be upscale in their programs when they aren't catering to that crowd. They aren't going to be stealing any WF or Met Market customers any time soon, so why bother trying to sell that to people that are happy shopping there because the store is not that type of retailer. It's not as if they are encouraging that type of service, just the look. It's a $10,000 paint job on a $5,000 car (metaphorically speaking, in case someone missed that)...

2: Why do they have no concept that increased spending on our part only leads to increased prices for them in the end, because we have to make that money up somewhere (again, we aren't talking small dollars here, but it's spread across a large volume of product)? We aren't just going to go over budget on a program and eat that loss...

3: Why can't that sack o' shit AM at least own up to the fact that he did like the program. It's one thing to see something for the first time, and ride your boss' coat tails with a negative opinion. It's another thing to not back up what you initially said and change the story at the last second. I'll certainly be getting him back for that one...